In the Beginning

In the beginning of my Autism journey, a day like today would have sent me into a frenzy!
My whole YEAR would be ruined! LOL !

But since I have faced many days WAAAAY worse than this one, I know this too shall pass and know that if God doesn't calm the storm , he WILL INDEED calm me., but ONLY  if I let him....;-)

Like I mentioned before God have sent so many people in my life to help me along this Autism Odyssey.  Let me tell you about a few..

After Xavier's initial diagnosis, I was frantic to find out what Autism was and how I could get rid of it! LOL !
I immediately starting looking on the Internet and for the most part most things I saw were very scary.

Rain Man, remember that movie? Dustin Hoffman and Tom Cruise were brothers and Dustin had autism and could remember all sorts of numbers and stuff and Tom used him to gamble.. I thought to myself ....WTH?  At least my dad who loved to gamble would surely LOVE Xavier.. LOL .. If he could only figure out how to get him inside of a casino...LOL!

But Autism is a "Spectrum disorder", meaning most people that have autism do not have the same symptoms. In fact, rarely do two people with autism have the exact same symptoms and that is what makes Autism so hard to treat and so hard to understand.

For the most part, doctors have broken the symptoms down to categories of Autism.
PPD/ NOS
Aspergers
Autism Moderate
Autism Severe

There are some symptoms that most people with Autism share and that is defect in social skills and repetitive behaviors.
Yet, some may lack language as Xavier does and some may talk like people with Aspergers.
Some may not interact with others at all, just sit and stare into space, others may be well aware of their surroundings and interact with it and others.
If I had to take a guess I would say Xavier falls somewhere in the middle of having Autism moderate on the spectrum, with his main symptoms being lack of language, lack of social skills and repetitive and problem behaviors.


My first stop on my Autism journey took me to a place called the Harwood Center in Memphis.  I wanted to know how Xavier would go to school, was he teachable and a host of other questions..
I spoke with a lady name Kay Guenther. She was a social worker and coordinator of the center.
I told her abut my diagnosis from the neurologist and asked her what services the center offered.
She told me what the center did and you can see that information here: http://harwoodcenter.org/.


 I asked if I could come by an take a tour and she obliged, but warned there was a waiting list to get in. so the next day Xavier and I went to your Harwood and it was nothing less than amazing.

After the tour Kay had me fill out paperwork to put Xavier on the waiting list and told me as the neurologist did to get an official diagnosis from a child psychiatrist. She took some back ground information on him and during the interview I began to cry. Just going back over the events of the previous weeks had over come me.

She reassured me that all would be ok, that I was not the first mom to cry in her office and that the fact I was there trying to get help for Xavier showed I was a good mom. We talked for a while and for the first time, I felt like maybe I could do this. Maybe I could be Xavier's mom and be good at it. Then she told me that since Xavier was 30 months at the time he would only get to attend for 6 months before he had to transition into regular public school at 3 years old. I was devastated, but figured even if I could only get him in for a short time, it would at least give me time to figure out what to do for him next.

We went home, I made an appointment with the Child Psychiatrist. He saw Xavier for 4 sessions before giving us his "official diagnosis of autism" . One thing he mentioned to us was that Xavier's personality was not one where he would ever be a big talker, He said even if he developed language later on, not to expect him to be the most talkative guy. At that point if he said ANYTHING I would be grateful. 

In the meantime I called Kay and the waiting list it seemed would not get to Xavier by his third birthday so it was a wash.
 I am sure she could hear the disappointment in my voice, but I thanked her for the tour and all she had done and hung up the phone.
I hung up the phone and I prayed and prayed and prayed... and about an hour later, Kay called. She asked me if I could start bringing Xavier to school the next week on Monday. She said she could not get him in everyday and three days a week was all she could offer me.  I told her he would be there EARLY... ;-)  I am not sure to this day what Kay did to help me, but years later when I brought Xavier back to visit I told her I had changed my major from Business/ Transportation to Social Work/Counseling. She tried to talk me out of it, said it can be heartbreaking sometimes and that I would never be rich doing it, but I told her if I can do half as much for someone as she has done for me, I would have more joy than money could buy.
Kay was the first of many people that God has placed in my path to help me carry my cross but Thank God she has not been the last..