Psalm 27:14
King James Version (KJV)
14 Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.
I once took a ladies class at church a few years back at Sycamore View COC and afterwards I realized I needed to work on my patience....;-(
I looked around for something I could read and found a book called " You're Late again Lord" The Impatient Woman's guide To Gods Timing"...By Karen Goodman.
I love, love to read, when I have the time now of course, and this book SPOKE DIRECTLY to me..
I am not patient person by a long shot, and at the time I read this book I was at wits end..
My marriage was a mess, I was wading through Xavier's new Autism diagnosis and sinking. Mark was not working and I was like OK God when are you coming to help me!
Back then, I had no idea HOW to Wait on the Lord" . I had no idea what I was supposed to do while I am waiting.
This book hit the nail on the head for me and I have used it when I am in "The Waiting Room" of life ever since.
So now when I have a day at home like the one I had with Xavier on yesterday, I know I am in " The waiting room" and just say " Ok, Lord, I am waiting on you"
I have learned to " be quiet" sit still and wait on him to tell me what to do..
Since I do not like being idle ( Type A ) personality..
I did laundry, cleaned the kitchen, blogged and watched TV in between. All the while Xavier slept.
I had texted Xavier's teacher and told her I think he has been eating too many eggs as he has been sensitive to them in the past.
She texted me back and said lets keep track of everything Xavier eats and drinks and how it affects his behavior ..
I was like " Oh NO! ....I did that when he first got diagnosed and had multiple gut issues and it aint no fun!" I went nuts, if I missed something I panicked and I did not want to have to do that ever again.
But, instead I didn't reply and just began to think while I sat and folded towels..
I tried to replay the last view days in my mind, mainly to see if maybe Xavier got some milk or wheat to trigger his overly aggressive behavior.
I started thinking about Sunday, the message Brother Barclay spoke on while continuing his series on the Omniscience of God.
He spoke about how we as humans could not handle it if we knew everything that would happen to us, what was said about us, what things would be done to us.... But we should just trust God who knows everything.
That God knows, what could have been, the what if and what will happen in the end.
He used the example of Jesus telling Peter how he would betray him and deny him three times and the rooster would crow when he did.
Bro Barclay, brought it to our attention that Jesus knew what Peter would do to him as he addressed him by his OLD name Simon to indicate that he would go back to his (BB) Days.. I call that BB: Before baptism..( its when I act up yall..LOL)
Jesus told Peter he knew the outcome and would pray for him.
Bro B also made note that Jesus said the " Devil had asked permission to sift Peter".. meaning when you go thru something , know the devil has asked permission from God to mess with you and God wont let anything happen to you do bring you to destruction, so you can rest assure " everything will work for good for those who love the Lord".
Then he went into a part of the scripture when Peter actually denies Jesus and this was when my word came from the Lord and I missed it on Sunday. I guess I was just so happy I had solved the problem of Xavier wanting to go to the bible hour classroom, I missed my shout..! as Bro B would say...
But, I am thanking God today for Second chances...
Bro B. talked about how back then people used Charcoal fires to warm themselves and in John 18:25 it is mentioned that the first time Peter denied Jesus he was standing by a fire warming himself. It is during verses 25-27, Peter does what Jesus said he would do and denies Jesus three times.
Then he went to John 21 when Jesus appeared for the 3rd time to the disciples after his resurrection. This time they were fishing.
In John 21:9 it is mentioned that when the disciples came to shore Jesus had built a charcoal fire and had prepared food.
It is then that Jesus asked Peter three times in a row to confirm his love for him.
Bro B, asked us if we have ever had a certain smell, remind us of something..
I have so many times.. The smell of my dad cooking fried chicken, pinto beans and hot water cornbread.. ( Y'all don't know nothing bout that... LOL !)
The smell of roses Mark has brought home for me.
The way Jordan and Xavier would smell after a good bath as babies.
Bro B said Jesus built that fire to use the smell to "remind" Peter of what he had done and yet still offered him a second chance at showing his love for him.
Anyone that has known me for a long time knows that I used to have a cat.
His name was Simon- Peter and I called him Simon for short.
He was my reminder that God gives second chances. Funny huh?
I was replaying the days before in my mind ..
How on Sunday evening as we sometimes do, Mark and I talked about the sermon.
I asked Mark how he thought it applied to his life and we talked..
I said I felt for me I have noticed in my life when God puts me in situations and I do not please him in my actions, he continues to put me in that SAME situation again and again until I DO WHAT will please him and them I am allowed to move on.
Mark went on to say how it reminded him of when he cooked good grilled meat on his grill and it has that good charcoal flavor and as he went on and on... he finally looked over at me and I was giving him a " You just greedy" look and he busted out laughing..
Then the Phone rang.. It was my Gynecologist office.. I had gone to get my annual pap this past Friday and was supposed to log into a database on line to view my pap results, set up to have my blood work done and to set an appt for my first mammogram..
But, with all the stuff going on with Xavier, I had totally forgotten!
My maternal grandmother died of late stage cervical cancer and my mom caught her in stage 1 in her early sixties. So I am very diligent about getting my paps done every year. This year I am embarrassed to say I an about 8 months late..
The nurse on the other line, sounded cherry, I was thinking that was a good sign and then she said, " You haven't logged online yet have you and I told her no.
She told me my Pap was normal, but that I had a yeast infection..
I was like " huh?" I know what the dreaded ' "coochie cootie"s felt like and although it had been a long time since I had one,,
I knew I was not having any symptoms and told her so.
Then she said its not the normal kind, this kind starts in your tummy and spreads. So we will call in a different med than is used to normally treat it. We have your pharmacy number on file and I will call and order it for you. She told me to have a great weekend..
I hung up and said to myself , " Well this day is just going grrreeeeettttt! "
Then I was thinking to myself..How did this happen.
Most things we eat in our house are Gluten free.
But this Summer I admit we have ran wild.
I let the boys eat whatever they wanted, when they wanted.
Hey, They are kids, they gotta live sometimes...
Then it HIT ME LIKE A TON OF BRICKS.
This morning Mark and Jordan left early because Jordan has Pep Band practice at 7:45 so Mark drops him off on the way to work, so Jordan doesn't wake Xavier for school on Thursdays, I do.
But, when I went in to wake him at the normal time, His room smelled horrible!
Now I live in the house with three guys and I have smelled it all , socks, gym clothes, food left in the lunch pail, the works.!
I remembered when I woke Xavier up I was like you smell bad, go to the shower now!
I was in a rush, but noticed Xavier was having " leaky gut" as he got in the shower.
Some doctors argue that this is not a symptom of Autism, but remember me telling you earlier that your gut or digestive tract is 80 percent of your immunity?
To explain Leaky Gut in Autism here is a link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leaky_gut_syndrome
When Xavier was first diagnosed he has leaky gut BAD. He was having the runs so bad his little butt was raw all the time and whenever I would wipe it the skin would literally come off of it.
He was miserable and I could not figure out what was going on.
I took him to a DAN dr who put him on a GFCF diet and it started to clear up, but not until I treated him for intestinal yeast, did he become able to finally have solid stools.
To this day, Xavier withholds stools, because he went so long without having a normal one, he does not like the sensation of passing them.
It got so bad when we first moved here, we had to take him back to Tennessee to Vanderbilt and he had to be put to sleep for two hours while our pediatric gastroenterologist flushed his small intestines as they were impacted so badly, he was about to poison himself.
The Dr said he had only seen that condition in the very elderly.
But then I remembered how Xavier would behave when he had yeast. he would ask for sugar filled things to eat ( sugar feeds yeast)
The day before, after his Drs appt he asked to go to Sonic for "" Green juice" please, that means Green apple slush.
He had been sniffing so badly in the Dr office from allergies, she asked if I wanted a prescription for it.
I had not realized at the time, his immune system was not fighting off his allergies as well as it normally does..
He had been asking for marshmallows since he had gotten home.
Xavier will eat sweets, but like Mark, he can take them or leave them.
They are both Meat and Potato type guys.
Jordan and I on the other hand will fight to the death for the last piece of cake in the house... LOL !
But most of all Xavier would be aggressive, like none other..and his stools, I am telling ya would smell like something off of a horror show!
He would be constipated and yet have stools leaking his impactment.
He would also scratch his butt, because ladies we all know yeast itches..;-(
and that was it!
When he woke up I had already found the medicine I had used to treat him in the fridge.
He came over and asked for kettle corn and I offered him a hot dog instead.
Thirty minutes afterwards on a empty stomach I gave him a dose.
Not 10 minutes he went and I knew I was headed in the right direction..;-)
I gave him one more dose before bed last night and will monitor his sugar intake for the next couple of weeks as well as give him a dose of Candida Freedom every once and a while as maintenance...
He started off the school day rough, but his teacher said she was not sending him home because she knows Xavier understands her expectations and she didn't want him to think if he misbehaves he will get off easy and get to go home.. She is SUCH A WONDERFUL teacher.. I will cover " Good teacher, BAD teacher" shortly. But as far a teachers goes, she is one of the best Xavier has ever had. I am going to miss her like crazy when he goes to middle school next year.
For me, I knew his bad early morning behavior was yeast "die off " from the last dose of med before bed last night.
He recouped and did well for the remainder of the day and I am thanking Bro B for reminding me of "smells" and God for giving me a second chance to catch on..
And yes, I am taking my medicine and watching my sugar intake too..;-)
I once took a ladies class at church a few years back at Sycamore View COC and afterwards I realized I needed to work on my patience....;-(
I looked around for something I could read and found a book called " You're Late again Lord" The Impatient Woman's guide To Gods Timing"...By Karen Goodman.
I love, love to read, when I have the time now of course, and this book SPOKE DIRECTLY to me..
I am not patient person by a long shot, and at the time I read this book I was at wits end..
My marriage was a mess, I was wading through Xavier's new Autism diagnosis and sinking. Mark was not working and I was like OK God when are you coming to help me!
Back then, I had no idea HOW to Wait on the Lord" . I had no idea what I was supposed to do while I am waiting.
This book hit the nail on the head for me and I have used it when I am in "The Waiting Room" of life ever since.
So now when I have a day at home like the one I had with Xavier on yesterday, I know I am in " The waiting room" and just say " Ok, Lord, I am waiting on you"
I have learned to " be quiet" sit still and wait on him to tell me what to do..
Since I do not like being idle ( Type A ) personality..
I did laundry, cleaned the kitchen, blogged and watched TV in between. All the while Xavier slept.
I had texted Xavier's teacher and told her I think he has been eating too many eggs as he has been sensitive to them in the past.
She texted me back and said lets keep track of everything Xavier eats and drinks and how it affects his behavior ..
I was like " Oh NO! ....I did that when he first got diagnosed and had multiple gut issues and it aint no fun!" I went nuts, if I missed something I panicked and I did not want to have to do that ever again.
But, instead I didn't reply and just began to think while I sat and folded towels..
I tried to replay the last view days in my mind, mainly to see if maybe Xavier got some milk or wheat to trigger his overly aggressive behavior.
I started thinking about Sunday, the message Brother Barclay spoke on while continuing his series on the Omniscience of God.
He spoke about how we as humans could not handle it if we knew everything that would happen to us, what was said about us, what things would be done to us.... But we should just trust God who knows everything.
That God knows, what could have been, the what if and what will happen in the end.
He used the example of Jesus telling Peter how he would betray him and deny him three times and the rooster would crow when he did.
Bro Barclay, brought it to our attention that Jesus knew what Peter would do to him as he addressed him by his OLD name Simon to indicate that he would go back to his (BB) Days.. I call that BB: Before baptism..( its when I act up yall..LOL)
Jesus told Peter he knew the outcome and would pray for him.
Bro B also made note that Jesus said the " Devil had asked permission to sift Peter".. meaning when you go thru something , know the devil has asked permission from God to mess with you and God wont let anything happen to you do bring you to destruction, so you can rest assure " everything will work for good for those who love the Lord".
Then he went into a part of the scripture when Peter actually denies Jesus and this was when my word came from the Lord and I missed it on Sunday. I guess I was just so happy I had solved the problem of Xavier wanting to go to the bible hour classroom, I missed my shout..! as Bro B would say...
But, I am thanking God today for Second chances...
Bro B. talked about how back then people used Charcoal fires to warm themselves and in John 18:25 it is mentioned that the first time Peter denied Jesus he was standing by a fire warming himself. It is during verses 25-27, Peter does what Jesus said he would do and denies Jesus three times.
Then he went to John 21 when Jesus appeared for the 3rd time to the disciples after his resurrection. This time they were fishing.
In John 21:9 it is mentioned that when the disciples came to shore Jesus had built a charcoal fire and had prepared food.
It is then that Jesus asked Peter three times in a row to confirm his love for him.
Bro B, asked us if we have ever had a certain smell, remind us of something..
I have so many times.. The smell of my dad cooking fried chicken, pinto beans and hot water cornbread.. ( Y'all don't know nothing bout that... LOL !)
The smell of roses Mark has brought home for me.
The way Jordan and Xavier would smell after a good bath as babies.
Bro B said Jesus built that fire to use the smell to "remind" Peter of what he had done and yet still offered him a second chance at showing his love for him.
Anyone that has known me for a long time knows that I used to have a cat.
His name was Simon- Peter and I called him Simon for short.
He was my reminder that God gives second chances. Funny huh?
I was replaying the days before in my mind ..
How on Sunday evening as we sometimes do, Mark and I talked about the sermon.
I asked Mark how he thought it applied to his life and we talked..
I said I felt for me I have noticed in my life when God puts me in situations and I do not please him in my actions, he continues to put me in that SAME situation again and again until I DO WHAT will please him and them I am allowed to move on.
Mark went on to say how it reminded him of when he cooked good grilled meat on his grill and it has that good charcoal flavor and as he went on and on... he finally looked over at me and I was giving him a " You just greedy" look and he busted out laughing..
Then the Phone rang.. It was my Gynecologist office.. I had gone to get my annual pap this past Friday and was supposed to log into a database on line to view my pap results, set up to have my blood work done and to set an appt for my first mammogram..
But, with all the stuff going on with Xavier, I had totally forgotten!
My maternal grandmother died of late stage cervical cancer and my mom caught her in stage 1 in her early sixties. So I am very diligent about getting my paps done every year. This year I am embarrassed to say I an about 8 months late..
The nurse on the other line, sounded cherry, I was thinking that was a good sign and then she said, " You haven't logged online yet have you and I told her no.
She told me my Pap was normal, but that I had a yeast infection..
I was like " huh?" I know what the dreaded ' "coochie cootie"s felt like and although it had been a long time since I had one,,
I knew I was not having any symptoms and told her so.
Then she said its not the normal kind, this kind starts in your tummy and spreads. So we will call in a different med than is used to normally treat it. We have your pharmacy number on file and I will call and order it for you. She told me to have a great weekend..
I hung up and said to myself , " Well this day is just going grrreeeeettttt! "
Then I was thinking to myself..How did this happen.
Most things we eat in our house are Gluten free.
But this Summer I admit we have ran wild.
I let the boys eat whatever they wanted, when they wanted.
Hey, They are kids, they gotta live sometimes...
Then it HIT ME LIKE A TON OF BRICKS.
This morning Mark and Jordan left early because Jordan has Pep Band practice at 7:45 so Mark drops him off on the way to work, so Jordan doesn't wake Xavier for school on Thursdays, I do.
But, when I went in to wake him at the normal time, His room smelled horrible!
Now I live in the house with three guys and I have smelled it all , socks, gym clothes, food left in the lunch pail, the works.!
I remembered when I woke Xavier up I was like you smell bad, go to the shower now!
I was in a rush, but noticed Xavier was having " leaky gut" as he got in the shower.
Some doctors argue that this is not a symptom of Autism, but remember me telling you earlier that your gut or digestive tract is 80 percent of your immunity?
To explain Leaky Gut in Autism here is a link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leaky_gut_syndrome
When Xavier was first diagnosed he has leaky gut BAD. He was having the runs so bad his little butt was raw all the time and whenever I would wipe it the skin would literally come off of it.
He was miserable and I could not figure out what was going on.
I took him to a DAN dr who put him on a GFCF diet and it started to clear up, but not until I treated him for intestinal yeast, did he become able to finally have solid stools.
To this day, Xavier withholds stools, because he went so long without having a normal one, he does not like the sensation of passing them.
It got so bad when we first moved here, we had to take him back to Tennessee to Vanderbilt and he had to be put to sleep for two hours while our pediatric gastroenterologist flushed his small intestines as they were impacted so badly, he was about to poison himself.
The Dr said he had only seen that condition in the very elderly.
But then I remembered how Xavier would behave when he had yeast. he would ask for sugar filled things to eat ( sugar feeds yeast)
The day before, after his Drs appt he asked to go to Sonic for "" Green juice" please, that means Green apple slush.
He had been sniffing so badly in the Dr office from allergies, she asked if I wanted a prescription for it.
I had not realized at the time, his immune system was not fighting off his allergies as well as it normally does..
He had been asking for marshmallows since he had gotten home.
Xavier will eat sweets, but like Mark, he can take them or leave them.
They are both Meat and Potato type guys.
Jordan and I on the other hand will fight to the death for the last piece of cake in the house... LOL !
But most of all Xavier would be aggressive, like none other..and his stools, I am telling ya would smell like something off of a horror show!
He would be constipated and yet have stools leaking his impactment.
He would also scratch his butt, because ladies we all know yeast itches..;-(
and that was it!
When he woke up I had already found the medicine I had used to treat him in the fridge.
He came over and asked for kettle corn and I offered him a hot dog instead.
Thirty minutes afterwards on a empty stomach I gave him a dose.
Not 10 minutes he went and I knew I was headed in the right direction..;-)
I gave him one more dose before bed last night and will monitor his sugar intake for the next couple of weeks as well as give him a dose of Candida Freedom every once and a while as maintenance...
He started off the school day rough, but his teacher said she was not sending him home because she knows Xavier understands her expectations and she didn't want him to think if he misbehaves he will get off easy and get to go home.. She is SUCH A WONDERFUL teacher.. I will cover " Good teacher, BAD teacher" shortly. But as far a teachers goes, she is one of the best Xavier has ever had. I am going to miss her like crazy when he goes to middle school next year.
For me, I knew his bad early morning behavior was yeast "die off " from the last dose of med before bed last night.
He recouped and did well for the remainder of the day and I am thanking Bro B for reminding me of "smells" and God for giving me a second chance to catch on..
And yes, I am taking my medicine and watching my sugar intake too..;-)
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